 Grab a cuppa and settle in for a feel-good story. It's about a dear little lady, my late mother-in-law Aileen, who moved to Kyogle from Sydney in 1996 at the ripe old age of 80. Motivated by escape from Sydney winters, her sights were on Southeast Qld but there was a catch: her older brother Keith. Keith had suffered from bi-polar since his late teens. Out of all nine siblings, big-hearted Aileen took it upon herself to see he was looked after through the decades. Nish, as a kid, remembers Keith over at their place, talking to the mantelpiece. Aileen wanted to move but refused to leave Keith behind in Sydney at the Salvos home where he lived. What to do? She wanted him nearby, where she could bring him the regulation carton of cigarettes, but there were no beds for him in Queensland. THICK AS THIEVES Enter the knight in shining armour, my partner Nish, who had a spectacular brainwave. "How about I try Kyogle, mum?" He rang Kyogle aged care (in those days housed at the old hospital building). Miracle of miracles: they had a bed! Available straight away! The very next DAY Keith was flown up from Sydney (for free). Aileen followed soon after. We'd found her a lovely flat in Kyogle Rd; her sale in Sydney came through just in time. Two years later our son Ned was born; grandma and grandson became thick as thieves. Keith passed away; Aileen and Ned endured until she died the year Ned was in Year 6. Sadly missed!! SAVOURING PRACTICE I tell this story in connection with the negativity bias, the ingrained habit of the brain to focus on bad news and overlook the good. And its remedy, gratitude and savouring practice. For months, for years on end, Aileen never tired of recounting the chain of auspicious events:
By recounting the feel-good moments again and again, Aileen was demonstrating, without meaning to, a sure-fire route to flourishing mental health. CLINICAL STUDY A study from 2017 gave worriers the chance to try one of two practices: mindfulness meditation or savouring various activities. The result? Savouring offers benefits similar to meditation—and some additional ones. Both mindfulness meditation AND savouring improved participants’ anxiety, negative emotions, and curiosity. The marked benefit of savouring over mindfulness meditation however, was to boost participants’ positive emotions. (Though to overcome negative rumination, mindfulness meditation won the day). A BOOST Savouring practice isn't something unfamiliar; it's similar to gratitude, tho takes it a bit further. (Both gratitude and savouring are proven reliable methods for increasing happiness and life satisfaction, while boosting optimism, joy, pleasure, enthusiasm, and other positive emotions.) Savouring includes a somatic component (drinking in the good at the level of body sensation) and a structured approach in four key stages. Plus there's interesting science to investigate and a wide variety of approaches to encourage savouring in your life. If it sounds like your cup of tea (a delicious, refreshing, nourishing, fragrant tea), and you live in the Kyogle region, northern NSW, I invite you to join me from May 1st at 5.30pm. Details below. BENEFITS OF A COURSE Sure, you can do it on your own, but here’s the catch: will you? By doing a course you commit to taking onboard the new learning. The accountability of group practice, turning up to class, reporting in, puts a rocket under your intentions and ratchets up your success. Best wishes, Shakti 6-SESSION HEARTWISE MINDFULNESS SAVOURING COURSE
KYOGLE NSW Monday evenings fortnightly, 5.30pm to 7.15pm Dates are fortnightly to match fortnightly 4pm yoga class. First class May 1st. May 1st, 15th, 29th Then the very next week, June 5th, to skip over the June Long weekend. Then back to fotnightly June 19th and July 3rd. VENUE: Bloore St Community Centre (after yoga) COST: early bird by 24th April $150 waged, concession $108 Full price after 24th April $175, concession $120
0 Comments
 Photo by Karolina Grabowska How do you like your towels? Rough and scratchy? Raspy as sandpaper? Not a fan of gravel rash? Me neither. Soft and fluffy! Lovely on the skin and does a better drying job, too*. You can create a soft, silky environment in the mind when your meditation includes self-kindness. Self-kindness in Meditation is like a freshly laundered bath towel because:
Softening our attitude is crucial when we meditate. Whether you’re a long term meditator or beginner. It’s especially good for newbies: pour on the kindness softener: it helps when embarking on the unfamiliar. A recent study showed that people who learn self-kindness alongside mindfulness find it easier, enjoy it more and stick with it longer. Wuhoo! Unconfident? Self-kindness is the best detergent to mix into your meditation. It puts a silken lining on your wobblies. It’s completely normal to feel unconfident or judgemental about your abilities when you start to meditate. Self-kindness helps you navigate that. Grit your teeth? The opposite of self-kindness, being hard on oneself, is counterproductive. Like drying oneself with a raspy towel while standing waist-deep in cold bath water. “Meditate of perish” is not going to do the job. Misconceptions Misunderstandings are the wet towel separating you and meditation. They make it hard to get started and cast meditation as a scary endeavour. A battle you’ll always be losing. People balk at meditation coz they fear:
Hmmm. Let's soften those up: I can’t make my mind blank. Spoiler alert: you’re not sposed to! Asking the mind not to think is like expecting the lungs not to breathe.To accommodate the thinking, busy mind is one of the most important – and doable- aspects of meditation. It’s even enjoyable. It’s too boring. All that time doing nothing (10 whole flippin’ minutes!) and I could be slaying them at golf, cooking up a storm, writing the report. Or folding towels into neat rolls. Doing nothing? Hmm, you'll be pretty busy internally. I don’t have time. The irony is: you’ll get things done in less time when your mind is crisp and clear. Like fresh laundry. Meditation is the self-kindness of allowing your experience to be to be just as it is. Mindfulness teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn sums it up beautifully: Meditation is not feeling a certain away; it’s about feeling the way you feel. With guidance, you'll discover a simplicity that is supportive and rejuvenating. No matter how antsy you are at the start. Meditation points you to your north star. The place you feel comfortable with yourself. Happy just being. Cheers, Shakti x *Apparently best practice for a fluffy towel is (1) not too much detergent (2) not too much heat: a hot wash and hot drier batters cotton fibres. JOIN MY ONLINE SELF-COMPASSION INTENSIVE
OVER FOUR EVENINGS IN MARCH 2023 A chance to cultivate warm-heartedness and support your wise heart. Four Wednesday evenings 75 minutes each March 8th - 29th 2023 6pm - 7.15 AEST (Australian eastern standard time) AUD $80 early bird $70 by 25th February  Self-compassion. Turns out it can save and support us through times of difficulty. And the run-of-the-mill ordinary blips of the day. Not up for a read? Listen instead. When life throws its curve balls, we easily get stuck in over-thinking and self-criticism. It’s just the way the brain's wired. We can reverse the hold of the ancient lizard brain by deliberately treating our self with kindness. SUSPICIOUS? Our bravado culture is suspicious of self-compassion.
Helloooo. Who ever felt better from self-criticism, overwork, aggression, shame or feeling unworthy? The stoic approach? No one wins. In fact the opposite is true. VETERANS Clinical research by Dr Kristin Neff (University of Texas at Austin) into PTSD in returned veterans found: The factor determining whether the veterans would slide into PTSD was not the amount of combat they’d seen. It was their level of self-compassion. Whether they could be kindness toward themselves. Instead of self-flagellating or feeling like a failure. SELFISH? A study of 100 couples, trained in self-kindness, showed they have the edge on un-trained bods. They are:
It seems when we’re wrapped up in our own shortcomings, failures, mistakes and misdemeanours- ie, not self-compassionate- we have less to give to others. And more blame to dole out. * SELF-KINDNESS FAQ Listen to the FAQ: HOW DO I KNOW WHEN I NEED SELF-KINDNESS? You’ll be:
WHAT'S THE HARDEST THING ABOUT SELF KINDNESS?
The opposite proves to be true. Self-kindness has us strong and resilient. It expands our horizons. We’re better able to step outside our head and see a situation clearly. We're no longer absorbed by our thoughts or captive to harmful reactions. What's not to love!!! Self-kindness: it's the strength you need. ONLINE SELF-COMPASSION INTENSIVE MARCH 2023 Join my Meditation and Self-kindness online intensive, STRONG BACK, SOFT FRONT. A chance to cultivate warm-heartedness and support your wise heart. Four Wednesday evenings March 8th - 29th 2023 6pm - 7.15 AEST (Australian eastern standard time) AUD $80 early bird $70 by 25th February Like it? Share it!  We’re driving home from the school bus. My son is eleven. Suddenly, a grisly, hairy, huntsman spider dashes onto the dash.  I knew it all along. Meditation is the best thing ever (hear, hear!) Travel journalist Brigid Delaney tells us why in her fun-packed travel tome, Wellmania.  pic by Eric Ward, Unsplash
|
Categories
All
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed