Reasons why self-kindness is a boost especially when you meditate

Photo by Karolina Grabowska

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​How do you like your towels?

Rough and scratchy? Raspy as sandpaper? Not a fan of gravel rash? Me neither.
 
Soft and fluffy! Lovely on the skin and does a better drying job, too*.


 
You can create a soft, silky environment in the mind when your meditation includes self-kindness.

Self-kindness in Meditation is like a freshly laundered bath towel because:

• Self-kindness softens.
• Self-kindness isn’t scratchy.
• Self-kindness gives you a little bleep of confidence. (Plop … self-doubt drops away.)
• Self-kindness feels not so much pampering, as nurturing.

Softening our attitude is crucial when we meditate.

Whether you’re a long term meditator or beginner. It’s especially good for newbies: pour on the kindness softener: it helps when embarking on the unfamiliar.


 
A recent study showed that people who learn self-kindness alongside mindfulness find it easier, enjoy it more and stick with it longer.

Wuhoo!
 


Unconfident?

Self-kindness is the best detergent to mix into your meditation. It puts a silken lining on your wobblies.

It’s completely normal to feel unconfident or judgemental about your abilities when you start to meditate. Self-kindness helps you navigate that. 



Grit your teeth?

The opposite of self-kindness, being hard on oneself, is counterproductive. Like drying oneself with a raspy towel while standing waist-deep in cold bath water.
“Meditate of perish” is not going to do the job.


 
Misconceptions

Misunderstandings are the wet towel separating you and meditation. They make it hard to get started and cast meditation as a scary endeavour. A battle you’ll always be losing.


 
People balk at meditation coz they fear:

• I can’t stop my thoughts (the mother of misconceptions about meditation.)
• I’ll be soooo bored.
• I don’t have time.

Hmmm. Let's soften those up:

 

I can’t make my mind blank. Spoiler alert: you’re not sposed to! Asking the mind not to think is like expecting the lungs not to breathe.To accommodate the thinking, busy mind is one of the most important – and doable- aspects of meditation. It’s even enjoyable.
 

It’s too boring. All that time doing nothing (10 whole flippin’ minutes!) and I could be slaying them at golf, cooking up a storm, writing the report. Or folding towels into neat rolls. 
Doing nothing? Hmm, you'll be pretty busy internally. 


I don’t have time. The irony is: you’ll get things done in less time when your mind is crisp and clear. Like fresh laundry. 




Meditation is the self-kindness of allowing your experience to be to be just as it is.


Mindfulness teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn sums it up beautifully:

Meditation is not feeling a certain away; it’s about feeling the way you feel.

It's not about making the mind empty or still (although stillness does
deepen in meditation).

Above all, mindfulness is letting the mind be as it is.

And knowing something about how it is in this moment.

It's not about getting somewhere else but allowing yourself
to be where you already are.

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- Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are.

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With guidance, you'll discover a simplicity that is supportive and rejuvenating. No matter how antsy you are at the start.

 
Meditation points you to your north star. The place you feel comfortable with yourself.



Happy just being.
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Cheers, Shakti x


 
*Apparently best practice for a fluffy towel is (1) not too much detergent (2) not too much heat: a hot wash and hot drier batters cotton fibres.

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Four Wednesday evenings 75 minutes each
March 8th - 29th 2023

6pm - 7.15 AEST (Australian eastern standard time)

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