Self-compassion: is it for you? Are you nice to number one?

Self-compassion. Turns out it can save and support us
​through times of difficulty.

And the run-of-the-mill ordinary blips of the day.
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Not up for a read? Listen instead.

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​When life throws its curve balls, we easily get stuck in over-thinking and self-criticism. It’s just the way the brain's wired. 
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We can reverse the hold of the ancient lizard brain by
​deliberately treating our self with kindness.

 
SUSPICIOUS?
 
Our bravado culture is suspicious of self-compassion.
 

• What if it saps our motivation?

• Loses my drive, my edge?
• Isn’t it a bit soppy?
• Self-centered?
• Self-absorbed?

 
 
Helloooo.

Who ever felt better from self-criticism, overwork, aggression, shame or feeling unworthy?
 
The stoic approach?
No one wins.
 
In fact the opposite is true.
 
 
 
VETERANS

 
Clinical research by Dr Kristin Neff (University of Texas at Austin) into PTSD in returned veterans found:
 
The factor determining whether the veterans would slide into PTSD was not the amount of combat they’d seen.
 
It was their level of self-compassion.
 
Whether they could be kindness toward themselves. Instead of self-flagellating or feeling like a failure.
 
 
SELFISH?
 
A study of 100 couples, trained in self-kindness, showed they have the edge on un-trained bods. They are:

• More caring.
• More capable of intimacy, and kinder.
• Less controlling, grant more freedom in the relationship.
• Get angry less often.

 
It seems when we’re wrapped up in our own shortcomings, failures, mistakes and misdemeanours- ie, not self-compassionate- we have less to give to others.
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And more blame to dole out.
 

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​SELF-KINDNESS FAQ​

Listen to the FAQ:

HOW DO I KNOW WHEN I NEED SELF-KINDNESS?


You’ll be:

• “Shoulding”

Look out for the “shoulds”! I should be …, I should have, they should have …

• Overthinking

During difficulty, we panic and throw everything at a scrappy quick fix.

• Blaming

Blaming seems easier than feeling the feels.

• Avoiding

We push away the feel of discomfort by overdoing other stuff (food, substances, streaming)

• Feeling alone

A big part of self-kindness is taking the birds eye view and recognising that suffering is a familiar and shared human territory. We're not alone, we're connected!

 


WHAT'S THE HARDEST THING ABOUT SELF KINDNESS? 
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• Recognising you need it.

Empathy towards our self is never our first reaction. Fear always takes precedence.

• Feeling guilty about needing it. Or superior. Or unworthy.
•  Self-centred, weak, soft, soppy?

The opposite proves to be true.


Self-kindness has us strong and resilient. It expands our horizons.  We’re better able to step outside our head and see a situation clearly. We're no longer absorbed by our thoughts or captive to harmful reactions.


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What's not to love!!!
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Self-kindness: it's the strength you need.

Find out more

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​ONLINE SELF-COMPASSION INTENSIVE
MARCH 2023
​
Join my Meditation and Self-kindness online intensive,
STRONG BACK, SOFT FRONT.

A chance to cultivate warm-heartedness and support your wise heart.
Four Wednesday evenings
March 8th - 29th 2023

6pm - 7.15 AEST (Australian eastern standard time)

AUD $80
early bird $70 by 25th February

Find out more ...

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Enrol in the Course

Regards,
Shakti

Joyfulmind.net.au

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