“I’ll make the most of early morning download time” thought I. Sundays are notorious in this neck of the woods for s-l-o-w internet. Everyone logs onto the satellite as the day progresses. The earlier, you get on, the better.
I hop online. Open audible.com, the talking book store. I’m eager to get something: listening to a novel in the early hours will usually get me back to sleep. My monthly book credit is due and I’ve nearly finished my current read.
I open the tab and it asks for my password. Damn, hasn’t done this for a while. What the hell is my password? The detested early morning haven’t-quite-slept- enough feeling kicks in. Breathe… breathe …. damn.
Request new password. Done. Get new password from email. Done. Take new password to Audible. Done. New password opens an account in my name. Yes, then … what?? No credits and no wishlist!! I don’t understand. I can’t access my favourite browses or get the next book I’ve already paid for! The one I’m so very eager to get right now! Double damn!!!
Damn damn damn! (x 10)
Why has it gotta be so hard? All I’m trying to do is download a new book. To help me sleep better and not wake up so damn early. Why has life gotta be such a struggle? Why can’t everything work according to plan?
Moan, moan, whinge, whine, boo hoo hoo. The universe is against me
The early morning haven’t-quite-slept-enough feeling kicks in anew. And intensifies. Breathe… breathe …. Feel like crap.
Nup. I soldier on. Try this, try that. Nup. Nothing works. I send off an urgent plea for assistance to the help desk.
Shut down. Switch off wifi. Good riddance. Best of all, I switch off the ‘I’ve got to do this now’ headspace.
And as soon as I let go I feel lighter and free-er.
Bee-line for the yoga mat. Lie down. Shavasana. Breathe. Stretch. Breathe. Release. Ahhh … that’s better. This is what I’ve supposed to have been doing all along.
(Whose silly idea was it to go online when I felt so unrested? Doesn’t it always end in tears?)
As my brain winds down after a stint of yoga and relaxation it occurs to me that my Audible account comes from Amazon and because I joined such a long time ago the log-on email and password must be that of my old hotmail address. Ah-ha. Ah-ha! Bingo. I’ll try that later.
Funny how you can think so much straighter when you’re relaxed and not pushing it.
That’s why mindfulness training is so effective. It helps us keep switching off the mental emergency mode that makes every task seem so urgent. When it’s not.
It’s really not. But I catch myself doing it all the time.
Just gotta download this audio book.
Just gotta answer that one email.
Just gotta make that late-night phone call.
Just gotta duck into the supermarket again because I forgot to buy breadcrumbs. Hells bells, can’t we do without them? Have I really got to drag the poor old bod through it?
Who is calling the shots here?
My own nervous system holds a gun at my head. Hey, put that gun down, I can say.
Remembering to give that order is the practice of mindfulness.
Put down that gun. Awareness is in charge.
I often laugh at the popular “Keep calm” slogans that keep cropping up everywhere, because staying calm is such a challenge these hectic days. “Keep Calm and Grow a Beard”; ‘Keep calm and Party On; ‘Keep Calm and Call Batman’.
Keep calm and put the gun down. Go easy on yourself.
Later that same Sunday, after a restful afternoon, I go back online and log in to Audible using my old email and password. The one I remembered on the yoga mat. In a jiffy I’m connected. In a trice I’m done and downloaded. Too easy.
Keep calm and put the gun down.
Good things come to those who chill out.
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